The myth of the so-called independent woman
Alrighty then. There is a movement taking place to honor the so-called independent woman. Women are being celebrated in songs for what really is IMO intellectually dishonest, especially in the Black community. Now dont get me wrong. I dont mind a woman who has her own. Whatever that is. Yet who is fooling who? Should anyone be applauded for doing what they are supposed to do? Its just like the "man" who says that he takes care of his kids. Truthfully speaking, is that what our world has come to? People want credit for doing things they are supposed to do. So here is my two cents on the issue. Lets first define whats not an independent woman.
1. You are not independent if Im picking up the tab through my tax dollars whether its WIC, food stamps or section 8.
2. You are not independent if you expect the man you are dealing with to "help" with your bills. Dont expect for a man to kick "in" just because he has you on your back. (Remember thats your choice) A real man will not only kick in but he would want to and any self respecting sister should allow him to if he wants to help. Then again if you gotta ask him for his help then chances are he is only thinking about himself and his own needs.
3. You are not independent if you only want sex from any man. (This type is only playing themselves, just because you have tried to reduce a man to being an object of lust doesnt mean that you are getting ahead. Hell, thats what most guys want anyway. ) Dont let Webbie, Jamie Foxx and Ne Yo gas yall up like that.
Now.. here is an independent woman.
1. yes you have your own crib, cars, and a job (if you are not living at home with your parents, you should have your own stuff, thats just common sense)
2. yes, if you making that clown you knocked you up pay child support. (aint nothing worse than a woman giving a broke kneegrow a break thinking "i dont want him giving me nothing unless he wants to give it" After all, you didnt make the baby by yourself. For every guy or girl paying child support there is ten that dont.
3. yes you are independent if you have your own interests and dont need a man to make you feel complete.
If you dont have a man ask yourself why and instead of pulling out your hair trying to figure out whats wrong with you, try getting your hustle up. Get your money because trust a man digs a woman who has money. A woman who doesnt have any money, we got a label for them we (men) call em hoodrats. You know the type, one that is just waiting for a come up. If you dont have any money then you should be preparing yourself through education or trade to get some. Just like women dont like a broke man, men dont like broke women.
In closing I just want to say that ultimately its a mature issue. Now for the 20 somethings, an independent woman may be the lick. (or whats percieved as independent by the sheeople) Grown women naturally know that they shouldnt look to a man for their substance. Yet if you in your 30s trying to celebrate something you should have put down in your 20s then its time to go get a late pass. There is a generation of Black women who will die alone partly due to attitudes, Oprah syndrome, and an overall lack of knowledge. While I do want to put a foot in the proverbial behind of Black men for being lazy, immature, trifling and flat out being stupid. As a man I see the handwriting on the wall for what it is. Black love is dying and a lot of us are choosing "alternative lifestyles" ie, playa thug boyfriend #2 mentality or like the above mentioned myth of independent women. Im sure many will disagree what i have written.. (hey... its my opinion) but I hope you understand the perspective I am coming from. People should be applauded for real success and not be admired for something that they should do. Men or women, period
