A Bar Joke

A guys goes into a bar and sits on a stool next ot a midget. The midget looks at the guy, grabs him by the arms and neck and says, "That's a choke hold from Judo classes." The guy, figuring that the midget is just a bit drunk, lets it slide. Two minutes later the midget applies another hold on the guy. The midget says, "That's a secret bracing hold from Karate class." Now the guy is getting a little steamed, but he lets it pass. Five minutes later, the midget jumps on the guy and puts him in another compromising position and says, "That's a death move fom Tae Kwon Do." Now the guy is angry and quickly leaves the bar. Ten minutes later he comes back into the bar, and the midget is still at the bar waiting for another drink. The guy walks up to the midget and just before he could move, the guy lunges at him, his arm flying our from behind his back. The midget falls off his stool and is out cold. The guy looks down on the midget and says, "That was a monkey wrench from Sears."

A guy goes into a bar, and he's already had too much to drink, and sits himself down. After being served he notices a woman sitting a few stools down. He motions the bartender over and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy that ugly ass douche bag a drink" Somewhat offended, the bartender says, "Sir, I run a respectful establishment, and I don't appreciate you calling my female customers, douche bags." The man looking ashamed of himself says, bartender sir, you are absolutely right, it was uncalled for, I'm sorry. Please allow me to buy the woman a cocktail. "That's better says the bartender and he approches the woman. He ask, "Ma'am, the gentleman down there would like to buy you a drink. What will you have? 'How nice, the woman says, "I'll have vinegar and water."

A guy goes into a bar and says, Bartender, give me a drink, I'm celebrating my fifth wedding anniversary." The bartender comes over and says, "Sure kid, this one is on the house. What are you going to do to celebrate?' The guy says, well I'm going to take my wife to Europe." The bartender says, "Wow you're taking your wife to Europe for your fifth anniversary, that's awsome. So what are you going to do for your tenth anniversary." The guy says, "Im going to go get her."

LOL!! 

PT, stay away from those bars...