8 Reasons Why I Won't Cheat on My Wife (Essence.com)

Grown Man Style

This is an actual conversation that took place recently between myself and a staffer (supplied by the venue) at one of my events:

Guy: C’mon son, I know you’re married but don’t tell me you ain’t smashin’ none of these hotties that be comin’ to yo events?

Me: Nope.

Guy: C’mon son?

Me: Nope.

Guy: You crazy Paul, you crazy in the head… even if I was married I would be runnin’ all through them hoes.

Me: That’s because you haven’t grown up yet!

I'd Never Step Out on Her

I’ve had enough with all the talking about why men and women cheat! Every time a celebrity gets caught cheating on their spouse, the media rolls out all the “experts” to tell us the drivers behind “why we cheat.” Most of the conversation is tongue-in-cheek, with an undertone, especially for men, being that, “everyone does it.”

Well, BREAKING NEWSUPDATE — EVERYONE DOES NOT CHEAT! As a matter of fact, based on all the research I can get my hands on, the overwhelming majority of data states that “most” of us (men and women in committed relationships) DO NOT cheat.

Now that we have that out the way, can we please put an end to the countless excuses and reasoning for those that cheat? I mean, are Tiger and Arnold really “psychological sex addicts” or are they simply irresponsible and immature guys? I have a very simple theory when it comes to cheating: those who do haven’t grown up yet… point blank, period. Ladies who cheat are not real women and fellas who cheat are not real men. Cheating is a distinguishing line between the men and boys and the women and girls — one group understands, accepts, and takes responsibility, the other doesn’t. If I were able to spend some more time with the guy I was in the conversation with at my event, I would have gone into more detail to spell out to him the responsibility that real men and women undertake when in a committed relationship. I would have given him the 8 reasons I don’t cheat on my wife.

Wedding Vows Mean Something to Me

My mother truly etched this in my mind. I remember when I was a little boy, listening to her and my father argue, and asking if they would divorce. She would look back with a smile and say, “Our wedding vows were a promise made before the Lord. I don’t plan to break any promises I make before the Lord.” Now granted, my parents had “verbal spats” notWWF sessions, so I can see instances where divorce is a recourse, but the point my mother’s story drives at is about hearing and accepting those very powerful words of the wedding vow… “Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep them for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to them so long as you both shall live?”

My Wife Deserves Better

I can speak for most men who fall deeply in love... when it happens, your desire to protect surges. "How can I protect and shield my beloved from pain?" becomes a key fiber in your existence. I’m so methodical about this, that when my wife and I watch TV, I deliberately turn the channel when those ASPCA commercials come on, otherwise, I know she’s going to start crying. I fully embrace my role as protector, so how could I deliberately wound her? It would hurt me millions of times her pain. She deserves better.

Letting My Son Down Is Not An Option

When I found out my wife was having a boy, I was incredibly excited! Not just because of the traditional ‘proud father wanting a son’ thought, but I was excited about the opportunity to raise a Black man. This takes enormous responsibility and ultimately, I know my son will be what he sees… and when he sees his father, I want him to see honor and integrity.

Letting My Mentees Down Is Not An Option, Either

I mentor several young people, mostly in high school and college (yes, college fam, I’m calling y’all “young people” — in my Bill Cosby voice). The reasons letting my mentees down is not an option are identical to why I can’t let my son down: they will be what they see.

I Refuse to Disrepect My Parents & Grandparents

I have three living grandparents, all over 88. They, as well as my parents, sacrificed too much for me to dishonor their legacy or our family name. Family means everything to me, and I wear my last name, in particular, very proudly.

I'm 100% Satisfied with My Sex Life

I don’t want to cross the T.M.I. line here, but let me just say… Daddy is very happy. ☺

The Haters Would Win

As more and more folks follow my work (which I continue to be humbled by), I’ve noticed the pool of haters forming... one even sent me a message saying they look forward to the day when I get caught up in a "Tiger-like-incident." Well, I have news to all my haters... you're going to be waiting and waiting because this guy doesn't cheat.

Paul Carrick Brunson

Men, women, if you’re in a committed relationship, and you feel you could be on the brink of cheating, reach out to me, let’s discuss and hopefully we can figure out resolution before you make a decision you may regret later. I can be reached at fb.com/PaulBrunson & Twitter @PaulCBrunson.

by Paul Carrick Brunson the Modern Day Match Maker

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