National HIV Testing Day (June 27th)
Recently, I
was asked to promote National HIV Testing Day (June 27th) and came across the
startling statistics regarding Black women. So of course, I got to thinking:
Why are our numbers continuously rising when the overall numbers of those
infected have remained somewhat steady, if not declining? And despite what most
people would have you to believe, Black women don’t face the greatest risk
just from ‘down-low brothers;’ the biggest danger of all is “US.”
Sex is one of
the most basic, natural functions for human beings. And of course, the force by
which we continue to reproduce. But the reality is, most of us are afraid to
even discuss our true feelings or desires on the subject. Sadly, many times we
think that in order to get a man or keep a man, you have to have sex – which
couldn’t be further from the truth. We often give in when we really don’t want
to, and tragically, even get convinced to partake in unprotected sex because we
believe it will make our partner happy – and oh yeah, “it feels better.”
Let’s be
brutally honest here, how many of us just don’t enjoy sex at all? If you think
that’s a stretch, keep this in mind: earlier this year, Fitness Magazine
surveyed 2,400 women to see how many wouldgive up sex for a full year in order
to be skinny, and the answer was a remarkable 51 percent.
When it comes
to pleasure and what works for us, Black women (and women in general for that
matter) often keep quiet. Instead of discussing what pleases us, we tolerate
unsatisfactory sexual experiences, which can eventually lead to dangerous
outcomes. If we don’t speak up, we may look for pleasure elsewhere, thus
putting our partner and the partner of the person we are cheating with at risk
for all sorts of STDs. Miscommunication – or lack of communication – not only
leads to bad relationships, but it can also lead to risky behavior.
And finally,
in an era when women do virtually everything men do, it should come as no
surprise that we have begun to behave in a manner that’s in line with what we
believe is traditional male thinking. Whether we are too busy to maintain a
relationship, or simply enjoy the idea of having multiple partners and options,
many of us are behaving in the same fashion that we claim men have for decades.
But because we are still more likely to compromise, we aren’t protecting
ourselves the way men do, and thus are on the losing end of the stick more than
our male counterparts.
Every 35
minutes, a woman tests positive for HIV in this country, and Black women
account for some 66% of all of these new cases. Those are some down right scary
stats. If we want to play with the big boys, it’s time we as strong,
intelligent, independent women start speaking up, share our likes and dislikes,
stop blaming down-low brothers, begin protecting ourselves each and every time,
remain honest to ourselves and our partners, and know that it’s ok to just say
‘no thanks’. That is, after all, the only way we can truly stop this
deadly disease and save ourselves – and the next generation.
P.S. – the
down-low brothers (AND sisters) are not off the hook … I’ll address that at a
later time …
Written
by Tamika Mallory on June 24, 2011 10:56
am
http://newsone.com/newsone-original/tmallory/national-hiv-testing-day/
All that is not given, is lost ~ Indian Proverb
